Sometimes the News Stories are Closer Than You Think

The Pittsburgh Post Gazette has recently reported that an officer from Monongahela, Washington County, is charged with numerous drug crimes including "tipping off drug dealers" on police search warrants. It's interesting to note that in one local town, officers have been tipping off the bad guys for a very long time. One example that comes to mind was a marijuana grow operation where the chief dictated exactly when the search warrant was to be executed. When officers knocked at the door, the residents of the house were all smiles. Of course, nothing was found.

"It's Time for Headlines"

A few years ago, one local officer, who is now a chief, was once caught napping in his town's coffee shop while on-duty. Embarrassing as that is, the local newspaper snapped a photo of his public slumber and made the next day's front page news. It gets worse: Weeks later, the entire nation saw that picture on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno during the "Headlines" segment. I have it on good authority that not one but at least seven different people sent that newspaper pic to NBC! He must have had a lot of friends.

Juvenile Drinking is OK (If you're a girl and friends with a cop)

Lately, the local news has featured Pittsburgh area police officers getting in trouble for things like tipping off drug dealers and drunk driving but here's one story that never hit the media:

xx

An officer in a local department was investigated by a DA's Office for a possible sex crime. At the very least, he was guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor by letting her drink alcohol at his house. He was forced to resign (before the department fired him) and with that, the investigation was ended.

xx

Well, not really. He not only re-applied for his job, he was hired back then promoted. Word is, he may be the next Juvenile Officer!!!

A Nice Evening Drive

Many departments require their patrol officers to maintain a vehicle log which includes their miles driven on any particular turn. On a shift that lacks activity such as arrests or reports, an officer is expected to be "patrolling the borough." One officer, after being reprimanded for low mileage on his assigned police car during a night-turn shift decided to use some imagination. He drove into the borough's garage, jacked up the back of the police car, put it in drive and, with a brick on the accelerator, took a little nap. The problem was that he over-slept and upon awaking, found that he had put nearly 200 miles on the car. Not too bad considering that the size of the borough was a little less that 1 mile square! Seeing this error, he of course put the car in reverse and placed the brick back on the gas peddle. Not knowing that an odometer will NOT go backwards even if the car is in reverse, he quickly racked up a total of 380 miles during his 8 hour shift! He was terminated for "Abuse of borough property."

Just a Joke Between Partners

Police are always pulling one gag or another on each other but here's one that is almost legend. Two guys who had been partners for years found themselves working night turn one summer evening. The passenger was nice and curled up in a deep slumber while the driver was just circling the borough. They soon found themselves near some railroad tracks where there was a train engine stopped not on, but near the crossing facing the roadway. With his passenger in la-la-land, the driver stopped the police car on the tracks, turned the engine off and began screaming. The sleeping officer awoke, saw the train's spot light just feet from his door and, unable to find the door handle, hastily climbed out the car's window in a panic. Even after many years, he never did find that gag too funny.

Who Said that the Chief Doesn't Have a sense of Humor?

How's this for conduct unbecoming: One day, the chief got a hold of a bottle of vodka that was left at the station. He thought it would be really funny if he spiked the secretary's morning coffee. What wasn't very funny was the fact the secretary was, at that time, on medication. Chief genius also never thought to check to see if it really was vodka in the opened bottle. Laying around the police station, no one knew where it came from let alone what was contained in it. After a while, the secretary started to feel the affect of the alcohol, and that's when chief idiot came clean about the java additive.

Yeah, Its all fun and games 'til someone gets suspended, as he did.

What Kind of Hand is in this Cookie Jar ?

Many departments have contingency or "flower" funds for their officers. These funds serve to set aside monies used for holiday/Christmas parties, cookouts or flowers for deceased members of an employee's family. Officers opt to have money deducted from their paychecks for this very reason. The problem is that in one department, none of the employees have access to the fund. The chief is the sole caretaker of the officer's money and he alone decides how the money is spent while flatly refusing to gave any account of where the money is kept or how much is actually there!

Going Green for the Well-connected

One evening, officers answered a domestic call at an apartment complex. Upon arrival, they saw 1 (ONE) marijuana plant growing in a pot in a woman's living room. She was arrested and taken to the county jail charged with growing and cultivating a controlled substance. Within a week, an officer was informed about some marijuana growing outside a home on the other side of town. When the officer arrived at the house he saw, and subsequently confiscated, 26 (TWENTY-SIX) marijuana plants in various stages of growth. The plants were in plastic drinking cups and other containers set about the yard around the house. There were also larger plants growing inside the residence that could seen through the windows from the yard and street. Here's where it gets interesting... only 6 (SIX) plants made it to the crime lab for analysis and, on the chief's orders, the homeowner was not arrested for growing/cultivating but instead issued a citation for disorderly conduct. Did I mention that the homeowner/farmer was, at the time, an employee of the municipality? I guess it's all in who you know or who you are!

Conduct Unbecoming an Officer

An officer who was driving his department's K9 vehicle had a stuffed German shepherd on the passenger side of the car. He worked night-turn and came in contact with few, if any members of the public. He did not use the dog to scare, threaten or intimidate anyone. The toy dog just went along for the ride. When the chief got wind of the furry, inanimate passenger, he not only wrote the officer up for conduct unbecoming, he also reprimanded the officer's superviser for the same infraction. A good decision by the chief? Perhaps, but consider this: Another member of the same police department, (and ironically related to the chief himself), is well known for his sports betting and numbers activities. Conduct umbecoming and officer... isn't bookmaking in the PA Crimes Code?

"Do As I Say, Not As I Do"

An officer was recently reprimanded for briefly leaving the patrol area without prior permission. Meanwhile, the supervisor who initiated the disciplinary action has himself while on duty, gone grocery shopping, reported to work intoxicated, slept in his house while working night-turn, and played in numerous softball games while on-shift. "Do as I say but not as I do."

Above the Law... Again

It was just discovered when a local department attempted to have their vehicles inspected, the police car's registrations were either expired or not even registered at all! That's right folks, for over a year, officers were driving unregistered vehicles with the chief's favorite car, the unmarked, expired in December of 2008. I have to wonder how many tickets were written to the public for just these same offenses!?

OCD - P.D.

A police department south of Pittsburgh has a chief that demands everything be uniform and consistant. So much so that at one time he demanded that officers, when parking the police cars at the station, back the vehicles into their spaces, have the same distances between them with the all of the wheels turned in the same direction. Officers were threatened with a write-ups and even suspensions for non-compliance.

Full-time Chief, Part-time Doctor, Full-time Clown

An officer who was injured on the job sometime ago, had to have his knee surgically repaired. Due to a manpower shortage, the chief was less than pleased about one less on the schedule but with the full knowledge and cooperation of the primary care doctor and even the city manager, the injured officer scheduled the procedure for as soon as possible. The day before the surgery, the officer received a call from the doctor's office asking him when he wanted to re-schedule. After he told the caller that the surgery was slated for the next day, she told him that their office received a call from a man identifying himself as the patient who cancelled the operation. The officer had the woman at the doctor's office call the department and ask to speak to the chief. She identified his voice as the caller who cancelled the surgery.

"We Don't Tolerate Racism!"

The same chief who told his officers to "treat everyone with respect" also tells new hires "we don't tolerate racism here." One day he seemed to be in a bad mood. When asked, he said that he was concerned because the house next door to him was up for sale. He said, and I quote: "Its not that I'm prejudice or anything but if the wrong neighbors move in and I start finding chicken bones and watermelon rinds in my yard, I swear I'll blow the f*****g place up!"

Cheap Labor is hard to Find

A man got himself arrested and charged with a serious crime. The police chief, who personally handled and dispensed all of the department's court subpoenas, neglected to give the arresting officers their notices to appear at the man's trial. It just so happened that the man who the officers arrested was a friend/employee of the chief who cut his grass, painted his fence and cleaned his pool. What a coincidence!!!

Group Activities - Good for Morale

After one of the department's officers was found guilty of "pattern call-offs," the chief told many of the other officers "You men should get together and beat the s*** out of the guy, that'll teach him a lesson!"

If you're looking for the chief, you can find him at Sunday mass.

Do As I Say But Never as I Do !

When hired at a local police department, the chief always greets the new officers with his usual "Treat everyone with respect" and "Keep your personal life unsoiled" speech. What he's most known for is his "When you lie down with dogs you get fleas" quip. What's interesting about these pearls of wisdom is that they come from a man who spends his summers in Florida vacationing with a former resident who got rolled up in a federal investigation involving the transportation of large amounts of marijuana across state lines. But it's all very innocent because according to the chief the guy in Florida "has never been convicted!" (could it be because he cooperated with the feds by turning rat?)

Oh, and another thing: The chief's boss (the mayor) has a son who, according to Florida State corporation records, is a business associate of the former DEA arrestee turned songbird. Hmmmm!

Playing Favorites

Here's a good one: A local police department has a "Residency Clause" in their contract. Like many other departments, this one required its employees to live within the jurisdiction the officers serve. Unlike most others though, this department played favorites. The administration identified three officers who did not live in town. After a lengthly (and expensive) investigation, the powers-that-be terminated only two of the three. The two that were canned did fight their firings and were re-instated with back pay, rank, etc. By the way, did I mention that the third and "unfired" cop was a friend of the town's mayor who listed his true residence on the county's real estate web site for all to see, including the administration!